Day #8

Made it to the gym six days in a row today. I was running late so I tried to sneak into Zumba. After ten minutes of trying to see from far back I thought that was enough of that. Then I went upstairs and jumped on the treadmill. I did my sprints, walked up my hill, and then jogged. Davis and I headed to the gym's cafe then. I thought when I started this contest I'd be saving all this money from not eating out. Then the gym cafe started calling my day with their ultimate protein shakes. Yep, hooked myself up with one. Yum Yum in my tum. Headed home where I cleaned all day. I finally felt myself again. Increasing my food a little and how often I am eating has definitely helped. Glad to feel good again. I didn't like being that grumpy, sick person. We ate leftovers so no new recipes. When I thought I'd have a blog about this journey I thought one of the topics I'd like to discuss is "Why am I fat"? There is always this emotional moment on Biggest Loser when people talk about why they are fat. I have had some big life stresses but I don't think that's why I am fat. The truth is I love life and life celebrations include food a lot of the time. I love to cook that food and I love to throw parties. Food has always been a happy thing with me and I just have indulged to often. I'm also comfortable with who I am so even though I know I'm fat I don't feel like I'm fat. If that makes sense. I think I've been in denial most of my life that it is an issue. A woman once asked me if I've always struggled with my weight. I thought that was so rude and what was she talking about. I realized recently the reason it upset me so was that it is true. So now I have to love myself enough to realize to be a better person I need to change.